The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
