I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
