apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
