apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize