I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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