Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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