Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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