I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
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We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
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you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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