Swine flu. Run for my life!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
