the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
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We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
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Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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