Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
