I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
