Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
