thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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