listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
