found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
