wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize