I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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