I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
