Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
