ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
