you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
