I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize