i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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