are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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