dude i'm inner monologue high
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
