I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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