I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
