They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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