you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
