I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
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we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
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If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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