I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
