I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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