At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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