her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
