My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
