I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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