im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
