Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
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Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
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I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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