no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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