If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
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I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
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Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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