A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you inspire me to be a worse person
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
