chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
