i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
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When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
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These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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