If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
