Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
