So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
