My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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