well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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