This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
