Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
