a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
