school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
