I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
