Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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