FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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