I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
